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That's Not What I Meant!| Media: | Paperback | | Author: | Deborah Tannen | | Publisher: | Ballantine Books | | Release date: | 12 March, 1987 | | List price: | $6.99 |
| Our price: | $6.29 that is 10% off! |
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A classic book about communication says it all! |
Heard the taped version of THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT by Deborah Tannen . . . it'd an old book that's considered a classic because of what it has to say about communication . . . I think its subtitle says it all, "How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Your Relations with Others."
I had not thought too much about this point until I heard the many examples that Tannen uses . . . whether in a relationship or going for a job, what we say--and don't say--can make or break things for us.
One quote especially caught my attention:
It's no good at all telling people what you want if what you want is for them to know without you telling them."
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| That's Not What I Meant! - Deborah Tannen |
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How to listen |
This is my favorite of Tannen's books. It makes some simple but important points about why people have trouble communicating. They talk differently.
My favorite comment was about people having different tolerances for pauses after the other person stops talking. For some people it is 10 seconds. For others it was nano-seconds. I wanted to encourage a quiet friend to talk. I found that by counting silently to ten after I finished talking before starting again, made him realize there was a gap to be filled there. An easy trick but I learned a lot from him and Tannen.
This is the book to give to friends and relatives, rather than her others that beat the differences between men and women into the ground. Simple but with a sweet and useful message. |
| Deborah Tannen - That's Not What I Meant! |
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A blueberry muffin with all the blueberrys and no muffin |
| The basic information in this book is invaluable, but the Author's style resembles that of high school student. The book is written in a classic outline style (I'm going to talk about this now), it's impersonal and has cold examples. Dr. Tannen doesn't seem to give much if any of her own realizations, instead she consistantly refers to other experts. I constantly felt as though I was reading a report written for a social psychology class. |
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